Empty Obervations
by RomanticizeMe
Summary: Narcissa can't help but to wonder. Takes place between OotP and HBP. Drabble-ish. Lucius/Narcissa shipping FTW.


_Disclaimer: I do not own HP or reap any benefit._

_WELL, I'm back! I've been on a Harry Potter kick lately and I'm obsessed with the Malfoy family just based on their interactions with each other and their deep family bond. So, this is just a little random piece set between OotP and HBP from Narcissa's POV._

_So, it's drabble-ish. But I liked it. I'm writing another piece now for Lucius/Narcissa, but it's like 50 pages and ridiculously out of control. So God knows when that's going to be published!_

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><p>Narcissa wondered if she just blinked enough times, he would be next to her in bed. She continued to close her eyes for a minute or two, hoping and wishing he would be right beside her when her eyes snapped open once again, hoping he'd be asleep right beside her like nothing had gone wrong, like he had never been sentenced to life in Azkaban.<p>

But she knew better than to believe such a silly little idea. She could hope all she wanted that Lucius would magically be home if she wished it, but she knew better. Narcissa would have joked about that with him, if he had been there. She would have cracked a small smile and lightly teased about how she always got her way.

And he would sarcastically agree, and then sincerely say he loved her.

She wondered if he would accuse her of being childish or silly, wasting time wishing for things to change. But she quickly dismissed the thought. That was not how she wanted to remember Lucius. He could be rude and stubborn, but he was a good person deep down.

She knew that, she saw that quality in him. That was why she married him over everyone else. He loved her, he loved his son. He cared about his family and what people thought of him.

People could accuse him of being self-centered, she saw him as someone who did what he thought was right.

People said he was cold, but he was never that way with her. She didn't understand the accusation.

And while he was strict with Draco, he was almost as indulgent as she was.

Her husband seemed to be someone different than the man the public knew him to be. He seemed to be shone in a different light with them, a weaker light where it cast him in shadow and hid his god features securely from the world.

When he left she cried, hysterically. She remembered grabbing onto his jacket and the expensive fabric sliding through her fingertips as she screamed and begged for him to come back, like he had a choice. It wasn't her most dignified moment, but she was in distress. She hated herself for even thinking about being dignified at a time like that.

She rolled over onto her back and wondered where her priorities were.

Plus then she could stop staring at the empty place in the bed. And then maybe her heart could start to heal. She truly loved her husband, that was a fact. She truly loved him.

She never understood how anyone could think poorly of him. The man she knew was not the man they accused of being a monster.

The man she knew was a loving husband and a good father and a respectable citizen.

Surely he made mistakes, everyone did. And if those mistakes happened to only occur to filthy little muggles or mud bloods-

She huffed quickly and dismissed that type of language from her brain. If she planned to make a plea to the courts for her husband's release, which she did, that kind of "slur" would only further his troubles.

Even if it was true.

Where was she? Yes. If his mistakes happened to involve Muggles or mu-half blooded wizards, if they dare be called that, and no one died, really there was no crime. Lucius never took a life, no. He did torture the ghastly things, but that was certainly not worthy of being sentenced to life in prison.

Her heart lurched again as she recalled the empty spot in their bed. She wondered if he would ever fill that space again, if somehow he would get out. She was her one, her only and no other person on Earth could replace him in her heart or in her life.

Everything felt colder without him around. It felt hollow and empty, like it didn't matter anymore. Life just seemed to be wisps of the past. Even Draco was more of the shadow of the person he once was. Someone who smiled and enjoyed life and saw himself as the privileged one in his group of peers now hid away from the masses and just tried to disappear.

Both of her favourite people gone, gone before her eyes and she could do nothing to stop it. Narcissa was not a quitter, and she would fight for what she loved and defend them until her dying day, but this time was different. She wanted to bring them back, make both of them happy again, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't just make things right with a kiss on the cheek and a squeeze of the hand, not now. And she wondered if she ever could.

If she could just rewind time, make it so nothing had ever changed between them.

She pinched her eyes closed and wondered if her husband would come back to her when she opened them.

And then maybe she could smile.


End file.
